An open letter to my mom

If my dog and his toy are annoying you, then go live somewhere else. He was here first.

If my asking you to clean your room is annoying you, then go live somewhere else. It's my property.

If my asking you to clean up after yourself and your lunch is annoying you, then go live somewhere else. Your crumbs are not acceptable.

If my making you call the unemployment office today (because you said last week you'd call them today) is annoying you, then go live somewhere else. I'm sick of your excuses.